did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Randomize
