I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
