have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
