You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
