my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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