love makes seman taste better
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
