We're facebook friends in real life
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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