i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
