fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
