So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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