Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize