so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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