I feel like I'm in dance class right now
thus making me awesome and them whores
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
