walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
