Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize