I must be too annoying 4 u.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
