That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
We smell like vodka and hangover
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
