just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
