Buhtt sex?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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