Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize