I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
