I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
