Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
