Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
