never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
