I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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