just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just want nice things and good sex
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
