She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
