Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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