I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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