Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
