hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
