I want to stick my p in your. b.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
