I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize