Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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