I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
