I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
