he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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