you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize