Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
