Cold hands, warm shart.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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