He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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