He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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