After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
