remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
