i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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