Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
