i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
