Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
