Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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