How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
