Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
