guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
