scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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