Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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