the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just googled if crying burns calories
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
