Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Life is so much better after having sex.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
