I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
