There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
