she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize