no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
