We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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