No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
