oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
