just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
