could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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