My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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