i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
