i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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