im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I cut my penus on the lid.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Alive.
So much puke
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
