If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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