i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize