He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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