I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I looked at my own cervix.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
