you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
