I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
